Slow down Showdown is an event we racehorses ignore. However, to have endurance and finish strong, a ‘whoa back’ is in dire order. Today I have four questions to help you figure out how to slow down before its made for you without your consent.
“She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes.”
While writing this post a lyric from the old childhood song, She’ll Be Coming Around the Mountain” got stuck in my head. ‘Whoa back’, she’ll be driving six white horses when she comes ‘whoa back’. Busyness can take many forms: a badge of accomplishment, a strained ball-n-chain, or simply a lifestyle without margin. When we get in busy-mode we have blinders in our peripheral vision, our backs are heavily weighed, and we kick ourselves to go faster. The term ‘whoa back’ isn’t in our vocabulary, so slowing down would be a crime.
However, at some point, we will get bucked off and hit the ground. After we dust ourselves off we most likely will ask what the heck was that? Or where did that come from? Staying on the horse is about knowing when to say “not right now”. It’s about knowing where we need to slow down. And it’s about knowing how to do it.
1. What caused that?
I recently got bucked off of not knowing what caused my unstoppable manner. My schedule had no margin. If I wasn’t working on DMTE, I was working my second job, and if I wasn’t doing that, I was busy with some other project, and then finally…I would fill in the cracks with my family. My priorities were out-of-whack. The harmony of the many roles I played each day was out of tune. And the problem was that I knew I had too much in my schedule. Does anyone hear me? I knew it but ignored it.
Was I addicted to busy? Running from something? Trying to impress someone? I’m not 100% sure, but I know when I fall prey to comparison my schedule builds. If she can do it, I can do it. The word “no” doesn’t exist. The word “stop” is blasphemy.
How this happens
During these comparison seasons chatting with colleagues and hearing stories of massively insane schedules makes me wonder how they get it all done. Am I doing something wrong? Am I not doing enough? Are they really getting it done? This thinking catalyzes my expectations of myself, which can be good and bad, but differentiating between the two is a challenge.
Why am I so tired?
This is mentality exhausting and frankly, it’s stupid thinking. No one is perfect. Who has it all figured out? No one is ever skipping down the Yellow Brick Road with all her ducks in a row. Everyone has different strengths. Yet, the problem with comparisons, whether it be on social media or in grocery store conversations, is that we don’t know the whole story. We don’t always see the condition of others’ hearts and how it weighs on their wellness. We just see the ‘yes man’ and subconsciously start to compete.
It’s a vicious cycle and a damaging one. We agree to things we don’t want to do, we fill our schedules to please others, and we constantly aim for perfection. But what happens to us in the process? What happens to our well-being? What happens when we’re running here and there and everywhere with no time to spare? Mistakes. Mistakes happen.
2. When do we know when we need to slow down?
My red flags came from a variety of sources. One was my family voicing their opinion. Other flags blocked me from enjoying the outdoors like I used to. Another came from messages I heard in church or songs in my playlist. And the biggest one came from my body, the one vessel that makes it all happen. If there is one thing that will slow us down, it’s our bodies. My mistake was not listening to these messages. I kicked my butt a little too hard to try to go faster…literally, I got horrible piriformis syndrome which forced me to slow down, way down. Before the injury, I knew I was exhausted mentally, spiritually, and physically, but I pressed on. And it got me nowhere.
The Bible talks a lot about slowing down, to take a Sabbath (Exodus 20:9-10), to just be (Psalm 46:10), and to come to Him who are weary and need rest (Matthew 11:28). These are just a few references in the Bible. But the Lord has a reason for teaching us how to slow down. He put it in the Bible so it must important, right? I believe one of those reasons is to give our bodies and minds rest so we don’t make big mistakes.
3. Where do we need to slow down?
This question is simply answered by paying attention. Where are you most stressed? What is occupying the majority of your time? How is your schedule affecting others? Are they agitated? Needy? Lonely? Perfecting balance in every area of your life is not a destination. It’s a moment. We can’t be everywhere at once, hence this blog post. There will be days when the schedule weighs heavier in one area than another, but the key is to recognize it. Quieting the mind and sitting in silence helps see where there is congestion. Slowing down a racehorse isn’t easy, so start with giving yourself five minutes of silence. This awareness helps you try harder the next day to find that harmony. Consciously be aware of how you’re using your time, you’ll see where it needs to slow down.
4. How do we slow down before it’s forced upon us?
This is a great question. I’m still practicing on figuring it out. One thing is for sure, we need to set boundaries. Setting boundaries gives us permission to say ‘not right now’ or ‘no, but thank you for thinking of me’. Boundaries give us our space to recuperate so when we do say ‘yes’ we can be our best. You can say ‘no’ to others, but it’s imperative to also say ‘no’ to yourself and the expectations you’ve created.
Racing with other horses is a game; it’s not a way to live. When you’re coming around the mountain, see if you need to ‘whoa back’ before moving any further.
By CT Copyright © 2019 More Than Existence, All Rights Reserved.